The missing step in writing

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V0luOs1aYk&w=475&h=297] [A video that has exactly ZERO to do with this post!]

This post is #37 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

My struggles with that mythical circus balancing act known as the Brothers Work-Life are legendary and ongoing. And experts agree that in my case, the smart money is generally on Work.

Still, I make inroads. At a recent meetup of my master mind group, I was praised not just for taking the time out of this nonstop fundraiser-fest to do some exercise, but for exhibiting the knowledge that doing so was a significant achievement. Because while the first step to lasting change is noting where you are, and close behind it is setting an intention, then moving towards it, one frequently overlooked step is acknowledgment.

Or, they are also steps which stand there, unmoving.

There are two ways this has to do with writing. First, please remember that this delicious brain of yours that hooks the words together cannot keep doing its work without rest, without play, without a little care and feeding of its housing.

Second, at some point in your work, pause. Not just to rest the brain and the body that are working so hard for you, but to complete a cycle of work. This practice is baked into my favorite values-centered goal-setting system, Your Best Year Yet, the very first step to setting next year's goals is reviewing the previous year's accomplishments. And disappointments, but whatever. Other systems use a variation of this forward/backward technique, and I finally get why:

Completing cycles of work equals better work.

Live and learn.

xxx c

Sisters are doin' it for themselves

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Odyd-jrlCCA&w=475&h=297] This post is #36 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

Not to dismiss the efforts of my writerly gentlemen friends, but yes, I think it's important to especially promote the writing of women and girls, as well as the tools and practices that get them writing. Anyone who has been a girl who is in class with boys (or, sadly, a woman who is in meetings with men) has at some point experienced the horrible feeling of turning invisible. The more girls (and, subsequently, women) learn to trust in the truth of their own voice and perspective, the more they feel the strength make themselves heard, not fucked with or over.

And so, WriteGirl. And so, Rock Camp for Girls, WriteGirls more musical sister.

And so, The World-Changing Writing Workshop, which is open to men, certainly, but was created by two very special freaky and awesome ladies for the benefit of people who might not feel the courage to be heard without the right encouragement. As I've mentioned earlier, all of my proceeds will go towards 50-for-50 for the rest of the campaign, and half of Pace & Kyeli's, through today. (You can also get a pretty sweet deal on it through today. Just sayin'.)

We grow up believing in what we see, and we see what the people who came just before us created. I'm sorry to have created so many distressing images for girls and women via my participation in the advertising-industrial complex, and am working hard now to empower this next generation to grow up smarter and stronger than I by creating a better environment for them to soak in. I agree that the Internet has opened up vast opportunities for women and girls; yes, there are still wretched, unhappy creeps who single out women for attack, but we will not be silenced. We will write and we will talk and we will fight. We will not stand down, we will create and share and spread the tales of adventures and derring-do to nourish the next generation.

And you can take that shit to the bank.

xxx c

Why most writing stinks

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGQLTZFhF9s&w=475&h=297] [A video that has exactly ZERO to do with this post!]

This post is #35 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

I've been thinking about this video conversation between Patti Digh and David Robinson since I watched it last week.

It's short and worth a watch, but in case you're more of a reader than a watcher (like I am), the takeaway is this: you cannot do two things at one time. Specifically, you cannot make anything good while you are simultaneously, not to mention paradoxically, worrying about what people will think of what you are making.

David, you see, comes from a theater background, and as such has spent many years watching actors try to do just that. Because if there's one thing an actor cares more about than the choice he's making on stage at a given moment, it's what you think of him while he's making it. And if there's one thing anyone who knows anything about good acting will tell you, it is impossible to be fully in the scene, to do your goddamned job as an actor, when you are doing anything besides being fully in the scene, worrying included.

I never really "got" this as an actor, which is why most of the time, I wasn't very good as an actor. My success in commercials is easily attributable to my extensive background in TV advertising; I'd been "acting" the commercials I wrote for art directors, bosses and clients for 10 years before I made dime one really acting in them. TV, film, and theater were problematic, though, because no matter how hard I worked at the acting part, you could always smell the want coming off me.

Writing is no different. There are many rat-bastard writers whose work you love to read because they are good writers, writing their truth.

There are also some very nice writers who love their audiences: Patti Digh herself is one of them. But she will happily tell you to eat sh*t and die (my words!) if you don't like what she's written. She is unwavering in the courage of her convictions, which is as it should be: they're not really values unless you're really willing to hold onto them.

For the love of all that's holy, and your writing had better be included in that, hew to your path. Screw the "like" buttons and pandering and other tedious bandwidth-wasting circle-jerkery. Whether you're writing about marketing or macramé or your love of the baby Jesus, stand for what you stand for. The opinions of others have exactly zero to do with your truth. Will this make you less publishable? Less-retweetable? Possibly.

Or not. There is something about single-minded focus linked to passion that is quite compelling. Watch who you watch and learn.

xxx c

Writing by hand

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivq2aGJDxiM&w=475&h=297] This post is #34 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

You don't need to convince people who use "journal" as a verb of the value of writing things down longhand. (Although some, you must convince of the the value of editing before taking things public.)

The Keyboard People can push back, though. "I can think faster than I can write longhand," they say, or "I can't read my own writing."

Both of these things are true for me, and yet I have filled two cubic feet with chicken-scratchings on paper anyway. Because despite what I carelessly tossed off many years ago, the point of writing a journal by hand is to write a journal by hand. Period. That your journals provide a "map of you" is a kind of bonus-extra, a by-product of the true point, which is spend time quietly with yourself, being exactly where you're at.

What can I say? You live, and hopefully, you learn. But in case it's still not clear, I suggest you spend more time walking, and less time looking at your maps.

xxx c

 

 

Frrrrriday Rrrrroundup! #66: 50-for-50 edition

This post is #33 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

Marion Agnew posted this absolutely gorgeous piece about the need to turn art outwards, and how the 50-for-50 Project fits into that scheme. Of all of the posts written so far, probably the piece that best expresses why I was moved to go for it with 50-for-50.

I love it when the Industry people join in on the action. Amanda, a former agency type who hails from the East Coast but has settled in with us crazies out here, gives a lovely plug for 50-for-50.

If you have not yet beheld the six-handed awesomeness of 3x3x365, Thursday's post, which includes a loving token from Amy McCracken, is a really good reason to start. (But please, do NOT miss Wednesday's pig brains.)

Nissa Sompels, a pipsqueak of not even 30 years, contributes to 50-for-50, then muses on what birthdays might best be used for.

In other news, we made the Friday Chicken! And as an example of the very best kind of good stuff!

Did you post about 50-for-50 and did I miss it? I would not be surprised, the days pass by in a hazy blur of frenzied activity, internet-related and otherwise. Please do let me know! I would love to highlight it here!

Death and taxes and love love love [+ a 50-for-50 video]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xQYImxa59g&w=475&h=297] This post is #32 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

I spent the morning today at the funeral service for a friend's father. I'll be spending the rest of the afternoon and evening preparing my stuff to take to my tax guy tomorrow morning.

Death and taxes. Yes, really.

While I'd been dreading them both, a weird kind of calm settled over me as I drove out to the West Valley. Maybe it was the spirit of my friend's father, showering love and happiness from the great beyond; by the sound of it, he was that kind of a guy, always full of love and a zest for life. Or maybe it was just so much sunlight everywhere, spilling onto everything. It's hard for me to keep feeling badly when the sun is shining, which is part of the reason I'm unlikely to move to the glorious PacNW anytime soon.

Anyway, the service ended up being terrifically uplifting: wonderful stories of a life beautifully lived, angelic singing from his eldest son. Which is good, because it also ended up being terrifically long, I'd forgotten that's how the Catholics do their celebrations. Lots of pomp, and lots of long.

But my favorite point of the show, and come on, it's a show, folks, was the sermon. Usually my least favorite part, owing to the bombastery of 90% of the priests you tend to run into, this one contained useful and uplifting words about many things, most strikingly, forgiveness. You hear a lot about forgiveness, blah blah blah, but you don't usually hear this: that Jesus talked about forgiving (an order of magnitude of forgiving), but he never said anything about forgetting. We are supposed to work on forgiving, and then leave the other party room for acknowledging and making amends. An incredibly loving and just and harmonious solution to the conundrum of life slamming you in the face repeatedly. My job is not to say "Oh, fine, it's all good" but to process and forgive. Process and forgive. (And, of course, if I'm on the other side of things, to acknowledge and make amends.)

It's a relevant subject right now because this 50-for-50 Project, for as wonderful as it is, is rousing all kinds of strange, old things inside me. Hurts from long ago blow up unexpectedly like ancient land mines, triggered by actions real and intents projected. Another reminder that there is no burying things, no hiding your garbage. You sit with it, you sit in it, you deal with it, and then maybe you get to move on.

For me, writing helps. It gets things out of my head and heart, even the long-buried, festering stuff. Not always pleasant, but life is not about pleasant, it's about living. Loving. Moving. Growing.

I'll let you know when I figure out what the taxes are for.

xxx c

Notes from The Dip [50-for-50 video]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEYoQhTfCZc&w=475&h=297] This post is #31 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

FOR THEM OF YOU WHAT HATES WATCHING THE VIDEOS:

I have been feeling a little bit down these past couple of days because we are in the Dip.

Which means I am in the Dip.

And DAMN, you can read or think or talk all you want to about the Dip, but being in the Dip is an entirely different matter.

So from the depths of the Dip, an email came from my friend, Jennifer Lehr. She's one of the amazing women writers who did an interview for this project, and she's been hugely helpful behind the scenes as well. Plus, she gave actual cash. Which is very much appreciated.

Anyway, Jennifer made a very good suggestion, which boiled down to DO SOMETHING. She said it much more nicely and she gave specific suggestions (both of which are hugely helpful) but basically, she's right: if you are stuck, DO SOMETHING. Something you haven't done before. Something to move yourself out of where you are. And hey, while you're at it, maybe show a little gratitude, because there is never a time when that is a bad thing.

So I made a video, and we'll see, but I'm going to keep making them. Maybe not every day, but as much as I can. Although maybe every day. Maybe I'll get better at them if I make them every day, and I'll grow to enjoy it, and people who like video better than they do reading (freaks! all of you!) will have something nice by way of a "thanks."

One of Jennifer's suggestions was to share some of the terrific emails and comments I've been getting since this thing began. So today, just randomly, I picked a nice one from Clara Boza:

As a writer, reader and all-around word nerd since B.B. (before birth), I can only dream of what an organization like WriteGirl might have meant to me as a shy teen girl with few role models for pursuing my dreams. WriteGirl rocks!

Because that's the essence of my reason for doing this: I wish I'd had a WriteGirl. And from the comments and feedback I'm getting, and the things I see on Twitter and Facebook, along with the things I hear from the WriteGirl women volunteers, I'm not alone. Girls need this. Probably more than boys. Everyone needs support, but it's just incredibly tough on girls growing up in this culture. So many weird, confusing messages get thrown at them from every angle, and too often the most important thing gets lost.

Which is that how you look on the outside is not nearly as important as how you develop what's inside.

I want these girls to hear that LOUD and CLEAR.

I want them to hear it over the advertising and the magazines and the reality TV crap and everything else that shouts at them 24/7.

Thank you for your support! Keep on trucking! Never, never, never give up! And all the rest of it.

I love you all!

xxx c

Art for writing's sake

"Surrogate Mothers Nest," a painting by Geoff Barnes This post is #30 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

The same grandparents who instilled in me a love of reading and writing also gifted me with my deep and abiding love of real, honest-to-god art.

Not posters or reproductions (not that there's anything wrong with that), but art: Paintings. Statuary. Sculptures. Bas-reliefs. Lithographs, woodcuts, silkscreens. Mobiles.

I spent a good part of most weekends during my childhood with Gram & Gramps, reading or writing or making art, and hearing the stories behind the many, many, MANY paintings and sculptures thoughtfully arranged throughout their beautiful apartment on the Near North side. You grow up with an ear for words and music or a eye for color and shape by being immersed in the stuff, and I was: living with art made me an artist, albeit one more facile with words than music, color, or shape.

There's an energy that artist-made art is imbued with. We get a hint of an echo of it in dead-tree books, which is why it's so hard for those of us who grew up loving them to let go of them entirely. But fine art vibrates with the energy of the artist, the energy that flowed through the artist and into the medium. The paint, the metal, the stone, the wood. My grandparents had art of all kinds surrounding them at all times, all their lives. Their very first painting (which I own) they bought on their honeymoon, in 1928. The mat and even the matboard have yellowed, but the painting itself, of a village street somewhere in the tropics, looks like it could have been painted yesterday. It is timeless. It is a wormhole through time, connecting me to my grandparents, to that island (which they most decidedly did not visit for their honeymoon), to the artist, to a sun that shone on an Earth that is my Earth and not my Earth, on people who are like me and not me.

My grandparents had paintings like they had books: everywhere. The kitchen, the bedrooms, the hallways, the bathroom, not just the living room. (Their personal photographs, on the other hand, actually were personal, tucked away in discreet leather frames on the dresser, or on a corner of the desktop. Or, you know, with a magnet to the fridge, just like everyone else in the known air-cooled universe.)

Which is how I have my artwork, everywhere, just like my books. Above my desk, in my hall, in my bathroom, in my kitchen. By my front door, where they're the last things I see when I leave. In my bedroom, where they're the first things I see when I awake.

Art makes my writing possible, inspiring me out loud when I can't have music on, putting into two- and three-dimensional form what floats around in my head.

Which is why I was particularly delighted when a fellow writer, Geoff Barnes, outed himself to me as a fine artist, and offered to contribute to the 50-for-50 Project not only his dollars (which he'd already done, and generously, thank you, Geoff!), but his artwork. Or, to be precise, his original, custom, one-of-a-kind-made-for-a-supporter-of-50-for-50 artwork.

That's right: the winning bidder of this newest auction will become the owner of a one-of-a-kind, custom, original painting by the one and only Geoff Barnes (aka @texburgher).

You can see one sample of Geoff's delightful work above. You can see a number more in this Flickr gallery. And you can (and should) most definitely hear Geoff talk about them in this video. He's charming and self-effacing and all the things one should be in general in life, and specifically on video.

Now, come on: what better holiday gift can you imagine than painting created on behalf of a good cause by a writer/artist/father-of-three? "Pony" doesn't even come close.

xxx c

When in doubt, be grateful

joan didion, circa 1969 This post is #29 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

It was a difficult day on the horn of the hump.

On the other hand, 20 or even 10 years ago, it took much less than a day like this to unseat me. Keeping things in perspective is a gift of having looped around the mountain enough times. Even if you can't see as well or move as quickly as you used to, you recognize the view well enough to know you've been here before, and you'll be back again.

One of my favorite ways to stick a fork in a day that's less than perhaps everything I wanted it to be is to find five things about it that were pretty damned good.

Like...

  1. We came within millimeters of $31,000.
  2. My protruding tummy & I made it through Day 8 of the dreaded 30-Day Shred.
  3. The overdue fines were racked up for a good reason and are going to a good cause.
  4. I got an incredibly polite rejection note from Joan Didion herself.
  5. I get a fresh start tomorrow.

Words don't always come easily, and when they do, some days they just don't sparkle like others. That's okay. You can always make a serviceable casserole from them.

Tomorrow.

xxx c

Photo by Julian Wasser, Time Life Pictures, Getty Images, via the Library Foundation of Los Angeles who no doubt licensed it properly for their ALOUD series, at which Ms. Didion is appearing this fall. I'll be in Detroit, goddammit, but you should totally go; I would.

Copious amounts of "alone time"

bathroom reading This post is #28 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

I spend at least twice as much time puttering as I do writing.

"Puttering," as I define it, equals any non-hurried doing of any non-mission-critical activity. Tearing out serious articles in magazines to send to friends is puttering; reading them is not. (Unless you are reading just a snatch of something while brushing your teeth.)

Inserting photos in frames is puttering. Dusting them can be, too, I suppose, but by the time I get to dusting, it's moved beyond mission-critical to "necessary for avoiding health setbacks."

Cooking a little, but even more, rooting through your supplies to see what might be made. Labeling your file folders or your electronic cables. Sifting through a jewelry drawer or a box of DVDs to see what might be dispensed with. All of these are wonderful ways to putter.

Puttering is a way to burn off anxiety, to refuel creatively while still being just the tiniest bit creative. It is helpful if movement is involved, rearranging things is a favorite puttering activity, but not strictly necessary. All that is truly necessary is to create the environment one wants (quiet, soft music, singalong music; fans, breezes, incense) and solitude. Puttering alongside of someone else is possible, but it takes a very special someone. Mostly, puttering needs to happen alone.

It took a long, long time for me to realize how much alone time I need, or perhaps to give in to it. Since I have, I mostly wonder whether it will always be like this, or whether those needs will change. Whether I could change them myself, by becoming more productive, perhaps, and more structured in my doings, or by adding in meditation or upping my more aggressive physical activity.

For now, though, puttering it is. And copious amounts of alone time in which to do it.

xxx c

Refilling the well

bed, sweet bed This post is #27 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

We passed the halfway point in the campaign yesterday, quietly, without fanfare.

The achievements thus far have been remarkable. Raising $50,000 in 50 days during summer break in a crap economy is no mean feat; getting $4,000 ahead by the halfway point, in the middle of what everyone has told me was the inevitable dip, is beyond amazing. I'm grateful to everyone who has been pitching in so hard, both behind the scenes and out on the front lines of social media, just as I'm grateful to my own body for allowing me to push it so hard for this past month and change.

I can see the signs of exhaustion now better than I could seven years ago, the last time I attempted anything close to this magnitude. Back then, it was a show, hour-long, with music, that was a monster to get up on its feet. At one point during the process, I had a hysterical freakout/breakdown, after which my wonderful co-writer/producer stepped in and relieved me of some of the too-many duties I'd taken on. So far this time, the only crying I've done has been tears of joy over the insane goodness of everyone, and I find those tears both refreshing and restorative.

Still, it's hard. And my tendency when things are hard is to push more, even though I have my choice of proofs, both personal and familial, that this is a losing game. I also know that without physically removing myself from my own premises, it's really hard for me to not do just one more thing. Post one more something, email one more request.

I had grand ambitions for the 50 posts here on communicatrix during this campaign. I was going to have all sorts of interesting pieces about my writing life growing up, and lengthy, thoughtful essays on vanity, on aging, and other things that are almost inconceivably difficult for me to even think about attempting. Still hoping to get a hair piece up there before the shaving, but who knows? It's already a bad sign that I'm punning without intent, and leaving the damn stuff up there.

So here is my gigantically huge thought for the day: you are not a machine. Neither am I. The good news is that this means that we can't be replaced. The bad news is this means we cannot run nonstop. (Although really, can a machine run nonstop?)

Read. Putter. Go out and hang with friends. Take a walk or a little drive. Nap.

I'm saying that to myself as much as to you, and as much for the sake of my writing as the sake of my health.

And yes, I'll see you again tomorrow. Duh. What else?

xxx c

Frrrrriday Rrrrroundup! #65: 50-for-50 edition

three people and a ridiculous button This post is #26 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

My friend Heather Parlato graciously wrote up the backstory to the beautifully bucolic desktop wallpaper she designed.

On her own birthday, Patti Digh asked for her present to be people's gifts to my birthday project. She did it so eloquently, it's a gift in and of itself. Happy 52nd, Patti. And I'm right behind you.

John Gruber wrote what is pretty much the perfect "ask" on his insanely popular blog. And his readers replied with their dollars. In droves.

Claudia Snowden, Chief Elderblogger at Fried Okra Productions, wrote a positively wonderbubbly post on exactly what you should do to support 50-for-50. She also introduced me to the term "wonderbubbly." All-around awesome.

After already agreeing to do an interview and create a desktop wallpaper, my good buddy Alissa Walker wove it all together with a beautiful piece of her own. And then bought a ticket to the head-shaving. No wonder I love her so.

In a completely unrelated event, I was quoted in the LA Times! Unfortunately, the adorable photo of me posing atop my desk is only available in the section view. You'll have to trust me, it was adorable!

And finally, thanks to Donna Barger, crafter supreme, there are now BUTTONS (see above). Five bucks a pop, all to a good cause. You'll have to hit me up in person if you want just one. But I will mail them to you with a minimum order of four. (C'mon. Buy a button for the baby!)

We're at just under $29,000 as I write this. Pitch in if you can, this next $11 grand is gonna be the hardest, but then it's BALD, BABY, BALD!

Poetry Thursday: Focus

christina katz quote illustrated by alissa walker

This post is #25 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

One foot in front of the other.

This is how everything moves
from one place to the next.

From chaos to clarity.
From fear to love.
(And back. And back.)
From nothing to something.
(And back. And back.)
From empty to full,
from birth to death,
from blank to fin,
from impossible to done.

And the doubt
that pools around you
as you pause
to catch your breath

And the voices
that whisper
of hazards ahead

And the fear
that seems to color the air
a sickly shade of gray

All vanish
when you focus
on putting one foot
in front of the other.

xxx
c

Image inside the frame by Alissa Walker, from a photograph she took on one of the many trips she's taken doing just that. You can get it in a luxurious, desktop-sized image of inspiration with a $15 contribution to the 50-for-50 project on IndieGoGo, through September 13, 2011.

What's up & what's gone down :: August 2011

the author with and without hair A mostly monthly but certainly occasional round-up of what I've been up to and what's in the hopper. For full credits and details, see this entryIt is #24 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

Colleen of the future (stuff I'll be doing)

  • August L.A. Biznik Mixer at Jerry's Famous [Los Angeles; Wednesday, August 17, TODAY]  Fun, free, low-key networking plus great tips, tricks and ideas from your fellow indie-biz folk, which of course includes me. Duh. My co-host again this month is South Bay illustrator Donna Barger. Rumor has it there will be buttons available to support a certain cause. And that they are effing awesome. Join up here (free membership, which is nice), then sign up here. And come say goodbye to my hair!
  • My 50th Birthday Party/Head-Shaving :: We're over halfway to our $50,000 goal at just under halfway through the campaign. I do believe I will be bald on September 14, but first, there will be much making of merry at a party on my actual birthday, here at a swank private residence in L.A., on September 13. $50 gets you in for the show (and there will be a show!), food, and bevvies!

Colleen of the Past (what I have done for you lately)

  • Interviews! Lots of them! :: To support the cause, I've solicited interviews with 50 terrific, inspiring women writers. Seriously, tons of good reading, plus tips on more good reading. (What? Of course I asked? Get 50 fab ladywriters together and not ask for their best resources? Are you kidding me?)
  • ASMP's Strictly Business Blog :: Two new pieces up, on my own favorite resources and some of the ways I bust through creative block. Besides signing on to do a 50-day marathon, I mean.

Colleen of the Present (stuff I do, rain or shine)

  • communicatrix | focuses :: My monthly newsletter devoted to the ways and means of becoming a better clearer communicator (plus a few special treats I post nowhere else). This month: How to talk FAST (or, pulling a talk for 500 people out of your ass the night before). Free!
  • Act Smart! is my monthly column about marketing for LA Casting. Nominally for actors, there's a ton of good info in there for any creative business person. Browse the archives, here.
  • Internet flotsam :: If you suffer from a surfeit of time, you can always look for me on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, StumbleUpon and delicious. Oh, and that Google+ all the nerds are yakking about. But not much yet. Only so many hours in a day.

xxx c

Photo (with hair) by Shawn G. Henry; Photoshopping (without hair) by Donna Barger.

Writing had better be its own reward

aesop quote illustrated by heather parlato This post is #23 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

Writing pays, but not in the ways most people think it does.

You can be paid well to write commercially, for example, ads, screenplays, gossip, but what you are really being paid for in most of these cases is your ability to provide infrastructure. You give good meetings, good ferreting, good deadline. You excel at a particular type of traveling, of winnowing, of synthesis. You can produce on demand, at a certain speed. You mimic voices well, you correct the off-key sounds of others even better. When I wrote ads, most of my time was spent doing things peripheral to writing itself (and most of what I wrote felt like a poor payout for the time invested, but that's another story for another blog post.)

Writing with no immediately commercial prospects requires just as much non-writing time. Because on top of the reading and walking and thinking and processing (not to mention editing and re-writing) required for all writing in some amounts, non-commercial writing requires that you put some energy into finding the means to support yourself outside of your writing. Also, the payout is different. It's continuous, and (I think) considerable, but in no way does it look like "winning" to most of the go-go world. It will not make you rich. It may not even earn you accolades.

I will be 50 very, very soon. If history is any indication, I will be 60, 75, 90 even sooner. Age is the only thing about me that moves quickly; the rest of me is slow. I am not a hare, and it was exhausting strapping that fluffy-tailed jet pack to my crusty tortoise body and pretending to be one.

I am also not better than a hare. Apples and oranges, although some of those oranges have some pretty juicy swimming pools and vacation homes. Which, I might add, they're generous enough to share with this here apple.

Years after I retired my jet pack but decades before I am (hopefully) done living, I have had to make my peace with my pace. I have had to learn to love the rewards of my path, and to examine my envious longings for those paths, over there.

Whatever path you are on, get down with it. There is reward enough to be had, even if it is not what you first see as such.

xxx c

Image inside the frame by Heather Parlato, from a photograph she took on a recent trip to paradise, aka the Central Coast of California. You can get it in a luxurious, desktop-sized image of inspiration with a $15 contribution to the 50-for-50 project on IndieGoGo, through September 13, 2011.

Writers helping writers helping writers

world-changing writing workshop

This post is #22 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

Nobody gets there alone.

Every single woman who has participated in an interview for the 50-for-50 Project has stressed the importance of the teachers and counselors and mentors who helped them along the way.

Every single woman who writes today stands on the backs of the women who fought for the rights of girls to learn to read and write alongside of boys.

And, hey, if you want to get technical, every single human alive is here because some woman said, "Okay, fine, I'll host you."

WriteGirl alumnae, 100% of them, have gone on to college because someone said "Hey, let me help you apply/find grants/study your ass off", and because a whole lot of someones said, "Hey, I believe in you, AND HERE'S MY CHECK."

That's what it takes to get people from one place to another: time AND commitment AND money. There's only upside to providing these things: they move forward and you cannot help but be moved by it, too. It is the world's greatest high, and I have extensive experience in the getting-high department.

But it's also nice to get something tangible for your giving. It's why I sweated those crazy perks so much; it's also why I'm so intensely grateful to all of the people who are contributing get-able items to this massive, fundraising machine.

The designers and their wallpapers. The musicians and their MP3s. Smile's generous donation of TextExpander licenses, Coudal Partners' equally generous donation of Field NotesAnd, as we like to say on late-night TV, more: Bee Franck's stellar subversive cross-stitchery; the Mule Design team and the special run of the "Old." shirts.

I'm especially thrilled about today's announcement because it comes from two of my favorite ladies who work their butts off to help people get better at the kind of writing that they hope will change the world, Pace & Kyeli of the World-Changing Writing Workshop. I taught a "pod" of the first year's class and this year, I created and contributed a bonus module, gratis, because that's what you do when you believe in something: you GIVE.

From today, Monday August 15 through Thursday, August 25, Pace & Kyeli will donate 50% of the profits from the home sale version of this year's World-Changing Writing Workshop to the 50-for-50 Project benefitting WriteGirl.

Additionally, because I am addicted to giving (see above) and also because I am one competitive motherf*cker, I will donate 100% of my affiliate fees for the duration of the 50-for-50 Project* as well. Which will probably be all of them, period, because I while I believe in the power of world-changing writing, I think I serve the world better by doing it, not promoting it, and any ding-dong noob knows you don't actually make passive monies by being passive.

Oh, and did I mention that Pace & Kyeli back it all up with a money-back guarantee? Because they do. If you're not satisfied, you get your dough back. Period.

If you've been on the fence about WCWW, I hope this entices you into taking the plunge. What we're doing with the 50-for-50 Project is amazing already, but with the extra juju of writing supporting writing supporting writing behind it, I think it will be even more so.

xxx
c

P.S. And yes, this is the same Pace & Kyeli that sing backup on "The Dirty Keywords Search Song," that infamous, egregiously NSFW tune that's included in the $5 song pack. It's like they sit around their house in Austin, thinking up ways to help me part you from your money on behalf of young girls who yearn to make something of themselves and the world through writing. So hey, even if the WCWW ain't your thing, pony up for a song pack. Just five bucks! For the children...

Details of the 50% for the WCWW2 Home Study/50-for-50 promotion:

  • What? 50% of ALL WCWW2 home study profits will be contributed to The 50-for-50 Project benefitting WriteGirl
  • Why? Because Pace & Kyeli believe that girls who can write will change the world!
  • When? 8/15 - 8/25 ONLY
  • How much? $297 (plus an additional $99 if you opt to get WCWW1, too)
  • Anything else? YES. When you buy via this promotion, you'll get a free preorder for Kyeli's upcoming ebook, a writing guide for brand-new writers, which will be $37 when it goes on sale.

*We'll pick a cutoff date of 9/9 for my part of the deal, just to make Pace's life easier. Math, you know.

Epistolary you

the burn and peel report This post is #21 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

One of the best ways to get better at anything, writing included, is to do it every day.

It's the main reason I decided to start blogging seven years ago. After writing and producing my two-person-show-for-four-people, I'd tasted the joy that is creating something personally meaningful for public consumption, and I was hooked. I'd continue to scribble in my journal as necessary, but knowing I was writing out loud, even to a barely-there public, made me reach a little further every day toward a higher and higher baseline of excellence.

But before the blog, before the show, there were letters. All my life, there had been letters, as my doting paternal grandfather pretty much demanded them. We wrote volumes to one another, back and forth: Chicago to Ithaca, Chicago to New York City, Chicago to Los Angeles. (For as much as he and Gram enjoyed having me back home for those six years between coasts, I think he was always a little wistful about the corresponding lack of correspondence.)

It was an early-seeded habit that served me well, for it kept me writing, writing, writing during those years when the rest of my outward-facing output was overtly commercial and sadly lackluster. It held the thread of who I really was underneath all of those ads and "obligations" and bullshit until I was finally ready to pull my head from my ass and recommit to real writing. It still does: while I may not be ready to speak my peace in public, in private, in the letters (now called "emails") that no one but the recipient sees, in the Wave blips I trade back and forth with my friend (and wallpaper contributor) Dave Seah, I am fully myself, in all of my mess, process, and confusion. And while great, honking swaths of it is pure mess, because I am sharing, because I am trying to push a thought outward to be seen/heard/understood, I am also getting better at writing. Which is really just another form of talking, only with less wear and tear on the vocal cords.

If you want to write but don't know where to start, if you want to write more or more eloquently or more persuasively or more humorously, write someone a letter. Every day. You can call it an email, although if you are wise and generous like my friend Patti Digh, you will also write an actual letter every day, which you can call a "thank-you note." Because there is always someone to thank, just as there is always something to be grateful for.

Every single day.

xxx c

Stealing time

painted sign reading "ladies lavatory" This post is #20 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

One of the small details that I love about the WriteGirl program is that at the beginning of each season, each WriteGirl mentee gets her own journal to write in.

The mentors get one, too, but it is that special attention to the girls receiving something just for them, just for writing, and often for the very first time, that really digs at my heart. I grew up with my own room and my own desk inside of it with my own drawers full of things to write with, in, and on. I had a door that closed and parents who let me do just that, shut my door and let my mind and my pen wander for hours at a time. Carving out the time and space for writing, devoting resources to writing, are part of what makes writing happen.

These days, I design my life to give me the most possible time and space for writing. When my medium-sized desk wasn't providing enough horizontal space for me, I got rid of my couch to clear room for a massive table. I live alone, an incredible luxury, and I work for myself, so I can write whenever I feel the urge (and even more importantly, when I don't). Soon enough, I will be re-introducing a good deal of travel for work into the mix, but even then there are airports and airplanes and luxuriously ALL-MINE hotel rooms: still plenty of ways to steal some room for myself to write, even if the circumstances aren't as plushly ideal as they are here at communicatrix home base.

There were times when there wasn't as much time nor as much room. Or when there might have been, but I chose to fuss about the details that weren't exactly right: a pen that was too draggy, a journal that didn't lie flat enough, a "private" area for writing that wasn't private enough.

What I know is that as a grownup, there's almost always a way to provide myself with the room necessary to write. At my most determined there was a stretch of days where I'd committed to morning pages and a road trip at the same time. So every morning, at the ass-crack of dawn, I roused myself from sleep before my partner woke up, took my crappy spiral notebook into the motel bathroom, and used the closed toilet lid for a writing desk. You do what you must to do what you must.

A girl who is still at home, however, surrounded by noises and people and obligations she has little control over, that girl needs help stealing the time to write. And so the notebook, a physical emblem of the worthiness of her writing, and creating space and time for it. And then the weekly meetings with her mentor that say "this writing is important, this time is important, and you are important." Hopefully after that follows the habit, ultimately rendering stuff like This Particular Notebook/Space/Time irrelevant, until she can write on stolen paper and stolen time, in the midst of chaos, maybe with earplugs, at someone else's dining room table. Or, if she needs a wee bit more privacy, on someone else's closed toilet-seat cover.

She will do what she must to do what she must, and eventually, she will change the world as surely as she has changed her own life.

xxx c

Image by debs-eye via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Frrrrriday Rrrrroundup! #64: 50-for-50 edition

photograph by claire on zazzle This post is #19 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

A beautiful tribute to WriteGirl and 50-for-50 from Jenn Forgie, who muses on what might have been had we all been exposed to this kind of mentoring as girls.

My friend Dave Seah did a detailed and fascinating deconstruction of his process in designing a desktop wallpaper for the 50-for-50 Project.

For the next month, longtime reader Claire is donating 50% of the sales from her Rocklawn Arts Shop to benefit the 50-for-50 Project for WriteGirl.

Thanks to strong support from everyone, almost $25,000 less than halfway through our campaign, we were the cover kids for this month's issue of IndieGoGo's monthly newsletter.

Finally, as of this writing, over 120 people have joined the 50-for-50 Project on Facebook, many of whom I've never even met before. I thank each and every one of you for this, and for everything else you're doing both out loud and behind the scenes, in support of this effort for WriteGirl. It is overwhelming in the most joyous kind of way; rest assured that some 20 days into this craziness, I still open my email or visit Twitter or read some comment at least once a day and burst into tears.

People are really, really good.

xxx c

Image by Claire. To purchase it and many other wonderful images as stickers, greeting cards, and other nifty pieces of merch in support of WriteGirl, please visit her Rocklawn Arts Zazzle shop.

Poetry Thursday: the spaces in between

THIS big

This post is #18 in a series of 50 dedicated to the art and life of writing, in support of the 50 for 50 Project to benefit WriteGirl. If you like it, or if you think it could have been improved by a better writing education for its author, please give generously. And pass it on.

Are you still worried
about that participle
you left
dangling?

That inelegant phrase,
that wobbly metaphor,
that questionably situated adverb?

Never fear, fellow traveler.

There is no "done"
when it comes to ideas on a page
and not even "almost"
will work better than
"awful with a beating heart."

Besides, nobody loves
your beautiful words.

They love
the way they feel
in the spaces
between
them.

xxx
c

Image by Leszek.Leszczynski via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.