The Useful Ones

Book review: Life is a Verb

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As further proof that the most inspiring and joyous of art is often born of the most dire and dour of experiences, I give you Patti Digh and the magnificent, powerful, astonishing collection of stories she has written on her blog, 37 Days, and compiled as a book, Life Is a Verb: 37 Days to Wake Up, Be Mindful and Live Intentionally.

The project began when Digh's beloved stepfather was diagnosed with lung cancer, and died a mere 37 days from diagnosis. She devoted herself to him in that slim slice of time, then devoted her time from that moment on to answering, both in words and actions, what she would do were she herself given a mere 37 days to live. The mother of two young daughters, her own answer was both simple and profound: share what she would want her daughters to know, about herself and about what she'd learned it took to lead a happy and loving life.

The result is sublime. No, "sublime" is overused and inadequate: the result is an astonishing, rich, gorgeous collection of beautifully written essays that simultaneously make me want to keep reading (faster! faster!) and throw down the book and have at it myself. They're livable lessons that don't feel preachy, complex ideas rendered wondrously clear.

And delight. This is a book chock-full of delight, serendipity and joy. It is a book you want to eat, almost, and a movement you want to be a part of. Passionate readers from all over started sending Digh artwork and stories of their own, and much of the art contained in the book was created by fans and friends of the 37 Days blog. (You can check out the Flickr pool to see samples.)

For those of you who like this sort of thing, there are also exercises to help you dive in yourself, both immediate, actionable stuff and longer-term project-type exercises. For me, the stories, wonderful, wonderful stories, are more than enough, all by themselves.

xxx
c

Image ©2008 Paula Bogdan, via Flickr.


How to keep failing

madpainter_greencolander

Back when I was a young pup Shilling for the Man, I wrote a lot of ads for a certain mass-market sports beverage.

As in, a lot of ads.

Because while those of you who haven't had the pleasure of working in the salt mines of advertising might not know it, the ratio of ads-come-up-with to ads-actually-produced is crazy high. Or low. You get my point: creatives, as they are affectionately known, dream up and sketch out far, far more ideas that get shit-canned than make it to the airwaves.

As a result of this crazy ratio, and a particularly trying mix of difficult personalities (which was out of my control) and quarter-life crisis (which, to be fair and in retrospect, was probably largely out of my control as well), I started to experience burnout. The well ran dry of ideas (how many ways can you sell spiked water, anyway?) and I started to feel myself turn into a hack, applying what had been successful in previous go-rounds to the supposedly new challenges before us (which, come on: spiked water? there are no new challenges). I turned to a formula, such as it was, and my copy became sort of a caricature of its former self.

It scared me enough to start the wheels in motion for my escape. There were other contributing factors, egregious politics, rampant greed, physical burnout, but I could see I'd need some sort of major cranial overhaul to keep going in my chosen career, and while I don't think there's anything wrong with advertising per se, I never could get 100% down with the amount of resources it consumed for the value it produced. At least the typing monkeys were working towards a second Hamlet.

Success is terrifying. I mean, it's great for about 20 minutes out of the 2 million it took to get there, the peak experience of a big sale or shiny statuette or the equivalent is a serious head rush. But then there's that blank page the next day, and the mandate to fill it with something equally awesome or even more so. Death, death. But that's exactly what happens to creative after creative, artist after artist, blogger after blogger once they hit something like their stride. Reach a peak, or even a plateau of competence, and the pressure is enormous to stay there. Worst of all, you can even stay there for some time, convinced that you're evolving, that you're building on a solid foundation of hard-won knowledge instead of lolling about on your dusty, crackling laurels.

A while ago, I bookmarked a wonderful piece on this subject by fine artist Robert Genn (whose semi-weekly newsletter, The Painter's Keys, is one of my favorite regular reads). It's titled "Sterility," after Pablo Picasso's take on the eternally interesting (if confounding) topic. Sterility, Picasso said*, is the result of copying oneself, an infraction he considered far worse than copying others, because engenders artistic death.

The opposite of sterility is fertility, and Genn's argument (and Picasso's, by extension) is that fertility is a learned state, or at least, that learning and action can help keep one in a state of artistic productivity or fertility. This resonates deeply with my own experience, which I liken to having to throw myself off a goddamn cliff just as soon as I've caught my breath from climbing up there. It's terrifying, it's exhilarating, it's teh suxors, as some geeky kids somewhere said at some time. Flinging myself into the gaping maw of who-the-hell-knows what, again and again and again.

To you, reading this now, it may not seem so. You may see (or hear, however it works) some kind of voice or through-line. One post is enough like the other so as not to seem schizophrenic, but different enough (and either good enough or trainwreck-ish enough) that you're moved to read more than one.

That voice is more like a side effect of flinging, though. Flinging and exercising, in tandem. You write and you write (or paint and paint, or what have you) and you learn stuff: tricks, tools and such. The rules, if you like. Those are muscles, and they do get stronger. You build up a kind of tolerance for the climbing, and maybe a better sense of how and where to fling yourself. You might even learn a thing or two about how to land without blowing yourself into a Wile E. Coyote puffball of smoky smithereens.

It's the flinging, though, that gives you the voice. Flinging and flinging and flinging. And getting up, either on the next cliff or from that faraway ground, and prepping yourself to fling again. And 48 years into the game I'm here to tell you: the flinging? It does not get easier. It just gets so that you become reasonably sure you will not die (or go broke, or whatever your doomsday scenario is) as a result of the flinging.

Before I scare anyone off of making any kind of art ever again, please remember that little phrase a few hundred words ago about fertility being a learned state. There is stuff you can do to change it up, to challenge yourself and to generally keep up the "private search for 'new'" necessary for fertility. Genn includes a short list for artists of tricks, change your media; mix your media; change your working environment; etc, to be used singly or in combination that is pretty easily adaptable to other fields of artistic endeavor. And once you get the in mindset, you do get better of keeping yourself in the state of flux/growth, or at least, you learn where to look for help.

And then? Back to flinging...

xxx
c

Image by greencolander via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

*The actual quote, which I liberated from this very spicy bit on Picasso, is this: "One begins to copy oneself, and to copy oneself is more dangerous than to copy others. It leads to sterility."


Referral Friday: 10 reasons why you should pre-order The Happiness Project

GretchenRubin crop

Referral Friday is an ongoing series inspired by John Jantsch's Make-a-Referral Week. For more about that, and loads more referrals for everything from cobblers to coaches to gee-tar teachers, start here. Pass it on, baby!

My friend, the brilliant, talented and all-around-awesome Gretchen Rubin, has a new book called The Happiness Project coming out. In December. That's over four months from now.

But I want you to buy it now, anyway. Why?

I'll tell you:

1. Pre-sales sell more books. Well, that's what they tell me, and who am I to argue. Plus, it makes sense. Sell out the first edition lickety split, your publisher is gonna be all, "Day-um! We need to print more of these here things!"

2. Sales keep readers in good books. This is kind of a no-brainer, but as an aspiring author of books people actually pay for, I feel it bears repeating.

3. This is one good f*cking book. I'm just over five chapters into it and it rocks. Seriously. A great mix of humor, insight, wisdom and (hallelujah) actionable info sans preachy-fussy sidebar lists of prescriptives. You can just read the hell out of this book, or you can read the hell out of it and pluck out a bunch of good ideas to try yourself. Inspiration, entertainment and utility, ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!

4. I pre-ordered it. Before I even asked if I could get a galley. Because I knew it would be one good f*cking book and I want to support that. (I also pre-ordered Chris Brogan & Julien Smith's Trust Agents for the same reason. I should have done for Hugh MacLeod's Ignore Everybody but I dropped the ball on that. I'm an ass; Hugh, you're the tits, and I still cherish my deconstructed business card. Plus all your creativity posts that inspired me to start blogging way back when.

5. If enough people buy it, maybe they'll send Gretchen on a junket. If you've ever met Gretchen, you'll understand. If you haven't, you should order it so maybe you'll get a chance to.

6. Because you might write a book someday and you're going to want people supporting you by pre-ordering your book. Karma, baby.

7. Because I'm definitely writing a book someday, and soon, and I need all the good juju I can get.

8. She didn't ask me to. Well, she didn't ask me specifically. Nor did she ask me to write this post asking all of you. As one who is regularly pummeled by often boorish requests, I think grace and restraint should be rewarded.

9. The subtitle is awesome: "Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun." This, too, happens far too infrequently, so its awesomeness should be rewarded.

10. I can buy more books to review. That's right, baby! Every book link in here takes you straight to Amazon and nets me a few cents. Believe it or don't, they add up enough to buy me a book or two every quarter. The more books I read, the better the chance I can tell you about more good books. Plus, they make me either smarter or angrier, either (or both) of which make me a much better blogger.

And while you're there, feel free to continue shopping, so any money you're throwing Amazon's way has them throwing a little bit towards me. And if every little bit helping doesn't do it for you, look at it this way: my birthday is right around the corner...

xxx
c

What I do when I'm not inspired to do anything

surfing_mikebaird

Those of you with a touch of mania understand the glorious thrill of getting gobs of stuff done.

And I'm not talking about stuff you can cross off of a list (although that's nice, too): I'm talking about the wildly productive times in your week, month, year when it feels like you're surfing wave after wave of ideas, gently (but gloriously, and thrillingly) supported by the powerful, shifting, magical waters of inspiration beneath you. Good times, a.k.a. cowabunga.

I get that because I've got a touch of the mania, myself. And a healthy (or not) streak of Calvinism, and a predisposition towards "-aholism", so far, the "work-" kind, but I know enough to stay on the alert for the others, as well. My most comfortable setting is "full-bore"; unfortunately, up until recently, the only other setting I could find was "off," and "off" is a bitch for maniacs. I realize now, after years and years (and, um, years) of therapy that because I love operating in "full-bore" mode so much, I got used to operating in it under all conditions, with and without inspiration, or sleep, or oil, or what have you, until I'd lost the sense of what it felt to really surf the waves.

Fellow surfers and maniacs, this may surprise you as much as it did me, but not every day is a wave day. (Or week, or month, or year, even, but more on that in another post.) There are days (and weeks and months and yes, goddammit, years) when it seems like everyone else around you is up on their boards, inspired as a mofo, surfing the hell out of those ideas, while you are left to softly weep and/or curse what feels like incessant paddling for piddling surf-action, or a complete disinterest in the whole thing entirely. Entirely! As in, "Why am I even at this stupid beach in a stupid spring suit when I really want to be watching Cops at the Surf Shack over a tallboy?"

The answer, sometimes, is as simple as "because you're supposed to be at the Surf Shack drinking a tallboy over Cops, dumbass." Other times, it's something not as simple, like a physiological something-or-other that needs sorting, more sleep or less sugar or fewer tallboys, even. It is beyond the scope of a silly, silly blog (or even this most excellent one) to address the exact underlying cause of your misery.

However, because I am me, I will lob a few things over the net for you to think about. This is a list of stuff that's worked for me in the short term (when I can remember to do one of them, anyway), so your mileage will almost assuredly vary, but it may spark something.

1. Switch that shit up. If you're in front of the computer, walk away. Far away, to the closest bit of nature and/or living manifestation of the animal kingdom that you can find. Lately, I've taken to enjoying two (short) meals per day on the backyard patio with a book and Arno J., who I'm pretty sure is only there in the hopes that I will either drop some of the food (fat chance, dog) or cave and let him lick the plate when I'm done.

On the other hand, if you're not at a computer, if you're painting or tinkering or what-have-you in a real-world fashion and it's not coming together, switch that shit up, anyway. Or, if you're tired, rest. Rest is switching, too, maniacs.

2. Take a walk. When you're stuck, and every day, even when you're not. Some people swear by swimming or running; I've always loathed both, so I'm not qualified to speak to their efficacy. A walk, sans iPod, will almost always do it, though. And (BONUS EXTRA) a walk done regularly seems to stave off some of the fallow time.

3. Clean something small. Your sink. A not-too-challenging shelf or drawer. A tabletop. A computer file folder, if you haven't been spending too much time in front of the computer already. Something that will either prime the pump (your small thing is a test to see if that's what's needed) or act as a mental palate cleanser. (BONUS EXTRA: sense of accomplishment, which is great for maniacs.)

If you look at these three sample things, you can see that they all have to do with reflection, rejuvenation or high-level procrastination. They're all components of staying motivated and inspired, and you can plug any one of them into Google and it will likely return all sorts of other ideas, if you haven't thought of them already. But that last, high-level procrastination, I have found to be most useful for me as a true maniac. I'm not good at sitting still and I'm really bad at napping, but boy, do I like to putter. And for me, the puttering is often a way out of the doldrums.

As I hinted at, above, these are sometime-solutions for short-term lack of inspiration and motivation. Long-term wandering in the desert is another story for another day (and one I've got a fair amount of experience with, as well, so perhaps there will be another post on another day).

Also, a little kindness and a little perspective go a long, long way. Self-flagellation might have been good for martyrs, but it rarely works for producing great works*.

And finally (for now, anyway), please do yourself this small favor and remind yourself that it was not ever thus. You will be inspired again, and motivated, and manic, and surf-y. Until you're not.

There's just a way these things work. And don't...

xxx
c

ADDITIONAL ARTICLES THAT MAY BE OF USE:

Image by Mike Baird via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

*See my friend, the great Jeffrey Zeldman, for more on this. That man has surfed more waves and, I'm sure, been beached on more shores already than I will in my hopefully-long lifetime.

You, amplified (a poem about marketing)

colleenamplified_technotheory

Marketing
is not yelling.

It is not even selling.

It is not bears
dancing around a cereal box
or yellow highlighter pixels
on top of BUY ME NOW pixels
or naked juggling smash-cut ladies on fiery unicycles.

It is not taglines or jingles,
one-sheets or tri-folds,
slide decks
special offers
or branding branding branding.

Marketing
is offering.

It is talking to people
with words
and sounds
and gestures
and pictures
specially chosen
so that the people who need to hear
what you have to share
can
and clearly.

Marketing
is the truth of you,
translated
into the language of them:
in the room
on the page
over the air.

It is you
giving of yourself
to the people
who are ready to receive.

And that thing you say
that hand you shake
that ad
that tag
that special bonus extra
is really you, amplified.

Loud enough so they can hear
soft enough so they can hear themselves think
and feel themselves feeling
and find themselves connecting
with you.

It is a thing
of poetry
not a practice
to abuse.

Express yourself
with love
and no fear
and you will find yourself
surrounded by the best
the world has to offer:
"them."

Your "them."

Drawn to you
for what they need
and not what you are trying to make them want.

You, amplified,
do this.

At just the right level
in just the right time
with truth
and honor
and love
and fun
and heat
and light
and fart jokes,
depending.

xxx
c

Image by Jared Goralnick (@technotheory) via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Referral Friday is on hiatus this week, being replaced by Poetry Thursday, which is a little late, but which I'm still thinking of as "Poetry Thursday." Feel free to browse, shop or otherwise support any of the fine people and businesses mentioned here on other Referral Fridays, or just go out and buy a book at your local bookstore or a cuppa from your locally-owned, neighborhood coffee shop. Or hey! Support me by signing up for my newsletter or tweeting/Facebook-ing/whatever-ing this. Or double-hey! Just leave a swell comment below. I love comments!

Goodie Bag: The Mind Jog List

weirdgirlmindjog_PinkSherbetPhotography

So far, 2009 has been Year of Busting Hump: all very well and good, but even the hump-bustingest of hump-busters has to have some kind of steam valve with which to ventilate every once in awhile.

Since much of my hump-busting time is spent in front of a computer monitor on my, um, hump, I try my best to take actual physical breaks where possible. Rolling around with Arno J. for a few minutes is always a good way to shake things off, but when you've been sitting awhile, even cleaning off a sink top or throwing a load of laundry in the washer can feel good. Unlike a lot of the big, fat, hairy projects I work on, a small physical action both gets me up and gets something actually completed (praise the Lord and pass the lemonade) in a short period of time.

Sometimes, however, like all nerds, I just want to veg for a few moments in front of my beloved, shiny iMac screen. Because that big, shiny screen should not be solely associated with work: it should, sometimes, scream, "FUN." I've been sharing the best of these must-see sites in my monthly newsletter for...well, as long as I've been putting out the newsletter.

But long, long ago, before I ever knew I'd have a newsletter, much less some kind of business to write about, I created a little folder on my browser toolbar called "mind jog" (which, come to think about it, I wrote about in a newsletter. Cue Twilight Zone theme.) I got a little stuck in my seat over the weekend, so I thought I'd go through it and pull out the best of what's there both to share some cool stuff and to maybe give you ideas about what you might go about collecting to amuse yourself in your minute slices of spare time.

And YES, I know that now there's Twitter and Facebook and a million other social web outlets in which to fritter away your time. I also know that sometimes, you don't want to go where everyone knows your name, you just want to chill with some cool stuff and me me me time. So without further ado...

Selected Contents from Colleen's Mind-Jog Folder on her Browser Toolbar

  • Michael Vance's Book Notes God, I love this guy. He summarizes all of the books he reads into concise, mainly bulleted notes, and shares them. I guess they're up there for him to remember, but what a service to the world! Lots of business-y stuff, but also stuff on communication, writing and the enemy category of GTD, "Miscellaneous"
  • Why They Hate Us Just hilarious, horrible pictures. Like a miniature StumbleUpon where the category is "American excess."
  • Top 10 Creativity Boosters A lot of these you probably know, but still, sometimes nothing can get you out of a creative rut faster than stuff specifically designed to get you out of a creative rut. Dave Jeffreys pulled the original site down, but it's still there thanks to the magic of the Wayback Machine.
  • Kevin Kelly's Cool Tools Sure, you can subscribe to this via RSS. But really, do you need to be kept up to date on EVERY cool thing to buy? I like dipping in here and there with Kevin's site; maybe you have a similar kind of site you can move from your RSS feed (where, let's face it, you're in danger of getting sucked down the rabbit hole) to your local mind jog folder.
  • Susan Miller's Astrology Zone Ridiculously long and detailed monthly entries on your sign's forecast. Personally, even though I have fun with the whole Virgo thing in my tagline, I'm really not a huge one for astrology. But every once in a while, as a lark? Sure! Fun! (Note to Virgos: it might not be so fun to read your forecast right now. September is gonna suck eggs, so much so that she warns us repeatedly in August. Just sayin'.
  • iSerenity wind chimes I've pimped this site before in my newsletter, and I really like to work with the library sound. But the wind chimes out of nowhere are like a big breath of "Aaaaahhh...", so I think they deserve their own mention here.
  • Singles Home Exchange International Kind of my version of real estate or vacation pr0n, I like browsing this occasionally to see what's out there. Not that many people would want to trade my tiny crib for their gorgeous condo by the whatever, but it's fun. And free.
  • "Music Only" for your iTunes playlist One other excellent, hyper-productive kind of mind jog can be taking a break from a big, gnarly project of one type, writing, say, or coding, or designing, and doing a fun-extra bit of "work." I save stuff like this with various tags in delicious (my snarl of bookmark tags is a mind jog project in and of itself) but I'm thinking of moving them over to the browser. Or maybe I'll just bring the ones I have locally, like this one for organizing your iTunes for better efficiency, over to delicious. Decisions, decisions...
  • Dog Licking Screen Because sometimes, you just need a smile, goddammit. (I keep YouTube folders called "Funny" and "Cute as a Basket of Kittens" for when I get bummed, too.)

Of course, another mind jog is just pruning one's toolbar. So to speak. Because like anything else, it can get musty and outdated, too. And nothing is more of a buzzkill than reaching into your mind jog folder and pulling out a big can of 404 page. Bleh.

Okay, now it's payback time: what are your favorite mind jog sites? Summaries and links in the comments section, puh-leeze!

xxx
c

Image by Pink Sherbet Photography via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Referral Friday: Mule Design (t-shirt division)

Referral Friday is part of an ongoing series inspired by John Jantsch's Make-a-Referral Week. For more about that, and loads more referrals for everything from cobblers to coaches to gee-tar teachers, start here. Pass it on, baby!

mule03_dinogirl

I worship Mike Monteiro.

mule04_jimray

No, seriously, I worship Mike Monteiro.

mule02_mizGenevra

From afar. (Well, down the coast.) We've never met, unless you count exchanging Twitter direct messages. But after reading enough of his hilariously brilliant Twitter bon mots to intrigue me (like, two), I jumped over to the Google rabbit hole and checked his shit out.

Genius tempered with scruples? Check.

Beloved by many, including other wildly talented non-dickheads? Check.

Breadth and depth of delightful interests? Check and check.

But while those things may give you warm fuzzies, they cannot keep you warm. Or, more to the point, cool, like these t-shirts can.

mule01_TomCarmony

I really wanted the one just above. Unfortunately, I look like dried-up gack on a Creamsicle stick in anything close to orange. So when Mike Monteiro (FULL DISCLOSURE! FULL DISCLOSURE!) offered me a free t-shirt of my choice for doing something I totally would have done anyway, with no expectation of anything, I chose this:

old_475

Now, seriously: I became an actor to tell the truth when all I had to do was spend twenty bucks on a Mule Design t-shirt? Whadda chump(ette).

Don't you wait. Buy a t-shirt. Or a print, like I just did. Or donate to a cause near and dear to Mike's heart, Small Can Be Big.

Who knows? Maybe we can change the world in increments of twenty bucks...

xxx
c

Photo credits, top to bottom:

Book review: The Principles of Uncertainty

uncertainty

Part of me felt I should hold off on reviewing Maira Kalman's juicy and rich The Principles of Uncertainty for the holiday season, when one might justify an expenditure of a more frivolous nature by purchasing it as a gift for another (with, of course, the full intention of reading it oneself.)

The rest of me said, "Eff that noise." Why should feeding your creativity, much less your soul, be considered non-essential? I mean, sure, make sure you've got a roof over your head and three-ish squares hitting the table before you run out and buy books, but books, especially beautiful, inspiring, thought-provoking works of wonder that help you see the world a different way while they help you to understand your own place in it, should be bought and consumed and passed around (and again) as often as possible, and at least as often as necessary.

The Principles of Uncertainty is about this crazy-beautiful world we live in, and how we live in it, and how it can delight us at least as often as it pains us if we just wake up and look down. Or over there, at that laundry tag that fluttered free of its garment and landed on the concrete in just the right way and at just the right time for us to look at it, or a man skating on salt, or a number of ladies with outrageously outré hairdos, or at just about any of the brilliantly illuminated bits of minutae Kalman captures within the pages of her book. Kalman collects all kinds of things we might otherwise miss, some literally (things with numbers on them, and packets, and things that fall out of books) and some that she filters through her marvelous brain and relays to us via her magical gift for composition and color.

Still need justification for buying a children's book for grownups? How about the rich veins of resources to pull from: books casually mentioned here and there by "ordinary" people Kalman knows, or music one might listen to entirely differently because of the attention she has turned to it (Mendelssohn was not so big on words, which is of course ironic, as Kalman pointed out, because one has to use a certain number of them, and carefully chosen, to explain that one is not a fan of them.)

But ultimately what Maira Kalman does best is what she does with her editor's brain: juxtaposing snippets of life with tinier snippets of accompanying text, teasing out the profound, the sublime, in the everyday. She gives shape to the amorphous worry and dread and also the profound, unspeakable joy we feel (or don't, because we stuff it down, or because we don't have the words) every day. The beauty of a hat (Sondheim has done much with a hat in his way, with an assist by Elaine Stritch) or a face or a day or a trip to Coney Island with a friend who will help you soak up the ordinary to diffuse the bitterness.

If you are a grownup who mildly resented having to put aside childish picture books or if you are a fan of her New Yorker covers or even if you like the crazy-ass "poems" you find on this site, I am guessing you will like this book.

Unless, of course, you love it...

xxx
c

Referral Friday: Heart of Money Homestudy Course

moneymacro_kevindooley

Referral Friday is an ongoing series inspired by John Jantsch's Make-a-Referral Week. For more about that, and loads more referrals for everything from cobblers to coaches to gee-tar teachers, starthere. Pass it on, baby!

I had to ramp up to Mark Silver.

Oh, I was a fan of his newsletter from the get-go; it was one of the few that I wholeheartedly endorsed in an ancient article on how to do (and not do) newsletters. The writing was too, too good to ignore, engaging and witty and crisp, and on a topic (marketing...ugh) that too rarely draws great writers to it.

And, because Mark is a good, smart marketer, I started buying up the chain of products: his book, which contains the foundation of his teachings, was next on the list. I was thrilled beyond belief to get it, despite the less than glamorous wrapping it came in.

But there were these exercises. Seriously woowoo exercises, where God or Spirit or what-have-you had to be invoked. And try as I might, I couldn't get on that bus.

Still, I read the newsletter and talked to Mark and clicked through his wonderful sales pages, and one day, one of them enticed me into buying a course on copywriting. (Hint: for those new to this site, I spent 10 years getting paid out someone else's wazoo for my own copywriting.) And it was good, very good. If you're in the market for some DIY-type help on copywriting and are a sensitive type, you will likely get much from it.

If you've been doing the math along with me, you know that I'm now the owner of a couple of products of Mark's who still can't do the core, spiritual exercise that forms the foundation of all his work. Yet there's something about him...and it, his work. His way. His gentle, supportive presence. (And the humor, and the talent. The humor and talent go a long way.)

And frankly, I'm sick of being hung up with stupid money issues. You have them, too? Yeah. They're probably different than mine, but many of us have them. Issues around debt or scarcity or abundance. They seem like different problems, but they all get ladled out from the same crazy soup.

So I sign on for the most expensive thing of his to date: the Heart of Money teleclass, and the most woowoo of all his offerings. I know, because I asked. No pushing, ever, from Mark: just the calm, gentle, helpful and quiet answers. I thought about what it might be like to have that kind of support in my quest for finding peace with my money issues; I thought, it'll be the opposite of the brittle, tense, frothy-mouthed, batshit-crazy attitudes I grew up with. That sounded good, so I signed up.

Holy shit.

Even taking a week off with traveling, even not getting all the exercises "right", even feeling a little bit lost and a lot wobbly for the past six weeks, I have grown by leaps and bounds. My handle on my finances is firm but calm. My clarity around what needs to happen next is profound and comforting. And my excitement about the future is electrifying.

I bring this up because a couple of weeks ago, Mark let us know that they were doing this particular incarnation of the class with the intention of turning it into a product. And a few days ago, he let us know that for a very short window, through July 31st, they were going to offer a 'pre-release' price at a substantial discount.

My only hesitation in recommending the product is that you will not have the benefit of getting automatically matched with a new and wonderful partner to work the exercises with you each week. I suppose you'll need to come up with these on your own (and trust me, it does help to work them with a partner). On the other hand, there's something magical about Mark Silver and his team over at Heart of Business. Maybe they'll come up with a genius way of helping people pair up. I suppose you could join his ongoing workshop community and find your right partners there. Or who knows, maybe you could find them through Twitter or Facebook, or maybe someone will set up a Ning group for Heart of Money student-seekers.

All I know is that if this is the right class for you (and these pages provided by Mark and his team will let you know pretty quickly), you must take it. You must. Extraordinary things will happen. I've had clients start dropping in my lap, and have gone from struggling with my work to letting it just flow through me, and that's just six weeks of half-assing it. Imagine what you could do if you really paid attention. (Imagine what I could do...oy!)

I receive zero monies for recommending this. There's no affiliate program or kickback or nothin'. Just me, tellin' you, this is awesome. Because it is, for me. And if it could be for you, I want you to know about it.

Whatever help we need to help us change ourselves, so we can go forth and change the world, that's the stuff we need to share. The Heart of Money class is that for me. I hope it may be for you...

xxx

c

Image by kevin dooley via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Book review: How to Love

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If your older, wiser self could go back and share its vast (we hope) repository of accumulated knowledge with your younger, naïve self, would the little bastard listen, or tell you to take a hike, old man? Would a headstrong, foolhardy you be able to take the advice of anyone else and see it for the useful, possible shortcut that it was, much less apply it sensibly and methodically?

I tend to doubt that young Gordon Livingston, future author of How to Love, one of the smartest, slimmest, most comprehensive books I've ever read on how to live (because come on, that's what the love thing is about, really), was ever very much in need of the book he would someday write. A decorated veteran who served both in the infantry and as a surgeon, he stood up in protest against a war (Vietnam) he could not support, returned to school once again to study psychiatry, and started a practice which he's still at today (not sure if I'll still be doing consulting work if and when I write three massive bestselling books).

The principles in How to Love are less revelatory than the way in which they're presented, which is to say in a rich, dense, savory prose that defies the kind of skimming many of us have adopted for the consuming of regular self-help tomes. This is a compact and intense book, like a truffle, or a really class-A boullion cube, so much so that you have to eat it slowly to get every last tasty bit.

It's so smart and so well-done, I wondered as I read it whom exactly it was written for. Ostensibly, it's for the young seeker at the beginning of her journey, chock full of tales and wisdom to help her pick her way through the minefield of human relationships, but projecting myself backwards, I find it difficult to believe that some sweet, crazy young thing at the mercy of raging hormones and a twisted culture as crucible is going to mine the gold from this sucker. A chapter towards the end exhorting his fellow relatively-sane oldsters to push for better education in the art of living (and loving, because they're the same thing) leads me to believe that it's really written for those of us toward the end of the game, that we might be reminded of the perils faced by those at the beginning, and thus be moved to do something to break the cycle.

Still, it's a wonderful, wonderful distillation of what is good and what is...not so much. Who among us couldn't use a little bit of reminding, no matter how little time there is left to make use of it ourselves?

xxx
c

Image by Anders B. via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Referral Friday: The Adam Carolla Podcast

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Referral Friday is part of an ongoing series inspired by John Jantsch's Make-a-Referral Week. For more about that, and loads more referrals for everything from cobblers to coaches to gee-tar teachers, start here. Pass it on, baby!

If comedians had radar, I'd be flying pretty far under Adam Carolla's.

I'm old. I'm female. I'm a downwardly mobile, bleeding-heart Hollywood feminist woowoo-friendly liberal who has for almost 20 years lived the kind of ratty, rent-controlled, Goodwill-appointed existence that Carolla regularly, and brilliantly, rails against in his (in)famous rants. And if you put a gun to my head, I'd have a hard time deciding which I was less indifferent to, sports or cars. I am, in short, a ladygeezer.

Yet over the past four months, I've grown to love this (literally) raging atheist libertarian-esque capitalist ex-jock gearhead comic with a fervor that borders on the unnatural.

You think you're surprised? When I was your age, I thought I'd be dead by now.

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It's not like he hadn't been around for me to fall for before. Adam Carolla has been knocking around mainstream broadcast media since the early '90s, when his good friend and then-client, Jimmy Kimmel, plucked him from obscurity, a.k.a., the boxing gym, to guest-voice on a local morning-drive show Kimmel was also featured on. Carolla went on to co-host Loveline (with "Dr. Drew" Pinsky, of Celebrity Rehab) as a long-running syndicated radio show and a relatively short-lived MTV show, it ran for four seasons, each of which I managed to miss. Because I am an unwashed TV-free hippie freak*, I also missed The Man Show, Crank Yankers, the AdamCarolla Project and, most recently, Dancing with the Stars. (I'm particularly miffed about this last, as the podcast with DwtS emcee and veteran show host, Tom Bergeron, made Carolla's four-episode arc sound especially juicy and awesome.)

I miss most TV not because it's bad (although hey, no arguments here, and more power to it) but because I cannot be trusted to moderate my intake. Given the opportunity, I'd gorge myself on the bastard until my eyes rolled back in their sockets and my brain oozed from my ears. In fact, I'm pretty sure I left flecks of sticky gray matter on Time Warner's counter when, in a moment of uncharacteristic inner strength, I ripped my cable box from its mooring and hauled it back to the mother ship.

Radio is another story: when the commercial breaks become too long (which they all have) or the pace too frenetic (which, OLD PERSON, it will) or the talk too inane, I have zero issues with flipping over to my iPod and its ad-free cache of home-grown podcasts or even corporate-backed NPR goodness. And the breaks on those few stations that still catered to the demographic I barely edged into were getting longer and longer, as the morning zoos they sponsored got wilder and wilder. For Howard Stern, I could take it; for his replacement on then-KLSX, some yell-y dude with a chip on his shoulder and a faint grasp on his crew, I could not.

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So I'm not quite sure what I was doing tuned in on the very last day of KLSX's all-talk, all-the-time format, but I was. And on that fateful day, Carolla shared the news that while one show was ending, another would be beginning, in his home office, with his high school buddy, Donny (a.k.a. "the Weez") comprising the sum total of his new, lightweight production "staff."

A wannabe broadcaster in my own right (I've been known to ham it up at the mic, and have been threatening my blog readers with an as-yet unmaterialized podcast for years now), I gave it a listen, once. The first episode, featuring his KLSX show cohorts, newsgal Teresa Strasser and a fellow nicknamed "Bald Bryan" (a.k.a. Brian Bishop), was a dud as far as I was concerned. The same tiresome yakking, minus the mainstream audio quality (and, to be fair, the commercials, under contract to CBS through the end of the year, Carolla is funding this entire venture out of his own pocket, an expense that's grown not inconsiderably along with the podcast's audience). Like most things, desperation drove me to a second listen: stuck in the car with nothing to listen to on the radio and burned out on This American Life podcasts, I clicked on a random episode of Carolla, his friend and fellow comic, David Alan Grier, was the guest, and within a matter of minutes, was hopelessly hooked. (Follow-up episodes with Strasser and Bishop, often rank among the best of the ACP, as it's known on the message boards.)

Artie Lange & Adam Carolla

Grasshoppers, you've probably never heard of a time when sound was served up in heaping helpings, not infinitesimal bites, but there was such a time, and it was Golden.

Human beings talked to each other in complete sentences and in a leisurely fashion, letting the subject meander here and there, hither and yon, where it would. You've never experienced the delight of dialectic serendipity, the dips and turns, the long, slow build of a conversation as played by two masters of the game. And, sadly, even with the wealth of experiences provided five times weekly by Adam Carolla and his deep cache of dazzling extemporaneous word-swordsmen, you may not still: even a game played at this high of a level demands a bit of its audience, and you, my ADHD, post-post-cable grasshoppers, are used to having your jokes pre-chewed and your synapses fired for you. How can you begin to appreciate the pas-de-deux that is Carolla waltzing with Birbiglia, tangoing with Florentine, swing dancing with David Allen Grier? You can't, that's how. You might snicker at some of the potty talk, Carolla and guests take liberal advantage of the lack of FCC firebreathing down their necks, but something tells me you'll tire of it quickly.

Not us old coots. Especially us old-broad coots. I've unearthed three other ardent fans in the ladygeezer (way +40) demographic, and that's without even trying. We ladygeezers love us some of that old-time conversating, and we love it leisurely and meandering. We love hearing Adam and Bob Odenkirk bat around why aging comics lose their edge, or Adam and Dino Stamatopoulos wax poetic on the rightness of family ties disintegrating when they're loose to begin with, or Adam and Byron Allen talk old-school late-night vs. the post-ironic kind. We love the unexpected clicking between Adam and Internet bazillionaire Jason Calacanis or Adam and original-Star Trek George Takei or, greatest of all, Adam and former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson.

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Yes, there is the odd dud guest. Occasionally, the borderline misogyny and blowhardian political fulminating can strain even the most patient ladygeezer's inclusive sense of humor. Does the scat occasionally overstay its welcome? Is there, now and again, one tired joke too many about illegal immigrants or welfare culture? Yes, yes, and absolutely. There's also way too much about the merits of 1970s porn (or is the it the failings of 21st century porn?), but don't let that stop you.

The Adam Carolla Podcast is sprawling, burly, messy, raunchy, smart, hilarious, and FREE. Knowing the capitalist leanings of its host, it's unlikely to remain so past December 31st of this year.

Enjoy it, as you do the rest of the unexpected treasures sprouting from the wreckage of mass media, while it lasts.

xxx
c

*Okay, it's because I'm an addict and can't be trusted around it. THERE. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

Photos courtesy of the Adam Carolla Podcast.

From top: Adam Carolla and David Allen Grier; Adam and Bob Odenkirk; Adam and Francis Ford Coppola; Adam and Artie Lange; Adam with high school friends Donny, Ray and Chris.

Book review: Work the System

cogs and gears of a gigantic machine

I suppose there are small business owners and solopreneurs and plain old freelancers out there who never find themselves with too little time or too much stress, but I've met a lot more of the other kind.

Most of us seem to spend most of our time running from fire to fire, an all-too-recognizable analogy, along with Whac-A-Mole, that perennial favorite of arcade-dwelling masochists everywhere, that author and business owner Sam Carpenter evokes many, many times in the revised 2nd edition of his 2008 book Work the System: The Simple Mechanics of Making More and Working Less.

If we're lucky, we come to a moment of awakening, then follow it up with the kind of right work and right action that will get us out of the hole we're in; if we're not, we just work until we or our businesses drop dead. Carpenter was about as close to the breaking point both personally and financially with his telecommunications outsourcing business when he had, as he calls it, a kind of out of body experience: he rose up and was suddenly able to see his business differently; it was not a mass of fires but a working organism, a gigantic but self-contained mega-system made up of many smaller, self-contained mini-systems that all worked (or didn't) together. The picture worked for this engineer-minded businessman, and in that moment, he both vowed to right the system to its natural state of balance, and began the process of systematically (haha) doing so.

I've yet to describe my own epiphany in detail (saving it for my book!), nor have I fully internalized the idea that everything is a system that can be broken down into components, but I completely get how everything in Carpenter's world suddenly made a whole lot of sense, because he could actually see things differently.

And even without fully internalizing the Work the System concept, I can see instantly how I already have implemented orderly processes in many of my own life's systems, which gives me hope that I might be able to wrassle the bear that is my business to the ground with sound principles applied methodically. I point to my homemade, SCD-compliant yogurt as Exhibit A: if you'd told me 10 years ago that not only would I make my own yogurt, but that I would do it with the nonchalance and regularity of brushing and flossing my teeth, I'd have laughed...after I put down my leaded Coke and Chee-tos. And the more I scan for them, the more I can, as Carpenter suggests, start seeing them everywhere: my Photoshop workflow for creating presentation templates; my years making silver jewelry in metalsmithing; even the way I can come up with a cheese omelet and hot espresso in the morning on autopilot.

The Chief Atheist used to like saying (and, I imagine, still does), "Life is a series of techniques." This is the kernel of Carpenter's thesis, to which I might add, "...nestled together like a series of Russian dolls or CSS boxes." He says it rather overly, perhaps, section the first, which is all about the underlying theory, nudges hard up against being overly repetitive, something Carpenter cops to: it's too important not to flog at length.

On the other hand, parts 2 and 3 fly by, full as they are of actual examples from Carpenter's life and business: of the systems implemented, of the kinds of documentation he developed for them, of the crazy lessons he learned along the way. And he's funny! And earnest, and real, with diverse interests! The commie-pinko-liberal-hippie in me completely grooved on all the references to '60s and '70s musicians (anyone who brings up Zappa in a business book is my kinda guy), while the nerd in me nodded along to his invocations of Stephen Covey and his 7 habits, or Gerber and his E-Myth.

Obviously, I haven't "worked the system" for my business yet. The process begins, as I mentioned above, with a thorough internalizing of the concepts, followed by a crap-ton of paperwork (he walks you through that part, as well as sharing the documents that he developed for his company).

That's okay. First, I don't mind paperwork, and second, I understand first-hand that once you spend a little time up front thinking through and plotting out and implementing a system, the time saved on the other end is tremendous. Just ask someone who's lost cognitive faculties and is having to re-learn how to do everything with new neural pathways. Or hell, make yourself a PB&J with your feet: you'll see right quick.

Me? I'm already sold, and starting work on communicatrix 3.0: the well-oiled, smooth-running, mole-free version...

xxx
c

Through this evening (Tuesday, July 14, at 6pm PDT), you can get a free PDF version of Work the System by visiting the website and entering your email address. Click here now, dammit!

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Image (top) by Elsie esq. via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Referral Friday: The Creative Freelancer Conference

ilise benun, bryn mooth and peleg top at the 2008 creative freelancer conference

Referral Friday is part of an ongoing series inspired by John Jantsch's Make-a-Referral Week. For more about that, and loads more referrals for everything from cobblers to coaches to gee-tar teachers, start here. Pass it on, baby!

You can learn a lot of great stuff and meet a lot of great people on the web, for (almost) absolutely nothing but an investment of your time.

But as I learned once I decided to move from being a contract employee with an agent (you did know that's what commercial actors are, right?) to captain of my own graphic design ship, at some point, you need to plow a few bucks into you and your business, and get out and meet some people, even in crappy economic times.

Hell, maybe especially in crappy economic times. Not to be an alarmist, but if you haven't redoubled your efforts to make yourself the sharpest, smartest, best-equipped purveyor of whatever it is you do on your block, you're in danger of falling behind. Because everyone is dealing with the same crappy economic times and attendant fears and/or trepidations about spending money; it's just the way it is.

No, what you need to do in yuck times is just make sure you're picking the things with high value for you. And for my money (okay, pun intended), the Creative Freelancer Conference, hosted by HOW (see above for one of them, the awesome Bryn Mooth) and my pals Ilise & Peleg at Marketing Mentor (see above, flanking her) is, like Danielle LaPorte's FireStarter sessions or South by Southwest Interactive, one of those high-value items. Why? I'll tell you:

1. The Creative Freelancer Conference is great because it focuses on YOUR market.

As far as I know, it really is the only game going. Ilise and Peleg approached HOW about doing this conference because they saw an unfilled niche. To paraphrase Velvette De Laney, an attendee from 2008, the HOW conference rocks for creative inspiration, but the CFC is the place to be for practical, on-the-ground information about how rock your creative solopreneur business. I think this pretty much nails my take on it, which is that the speakers and sessions all focus on actionable info, not just theory.

2. The Creative Freelancer Conference is great because it's small.

SxSWi is great because it's big, you get critical mass of awesomeness because so many people are drawn to the great Austin magnet. But as I mentioned on a recent podcast, SxSWi is where you finally meet the people you've been interacting with virtually; the CFC is where you go to meet your tribe.

Also, because it's so small, there's a lot more individualized attention, and other opportunities to connect with people, both speakers and attendees, in real time. The people I met via the CFC I've stayed close with all year. You cannot place a value on that. Okay, maybe you can. See...

3. The Creative Freelancer Conference is great because it's affordable.

The full price for attending is $495. YIKES. That's a lot! Well, yeah, but when you start breaking it down, not really. I've paid $250 and $300 recently for two (really good!) classes that are online only, with stuff I really needed to learn; I got great info, but no tribe, and not a lot in the way of electricity. It's just way harder to get motivated passively; sorry, that's how it is.

Anyway. There are savings, if you act fast! Register by the early bird deadline of July 15 and you can save $50; sign up to become a member of Freelancers Union, and you can up that by $25 to $75, using the code FRUN9 when registering.

Come to think of it, you should join Freelancers Union regardless, if you haven't already: it's FREE, baby, and there's strength in numbers. Also, discounts!

Bottom line?

I get that it's hard to spend money right now; I do. But if you're out there on your own doing creative work for money, you will not find a better place to spend it, or three days this summer, than on the Creative Freelancer Conference, in San Diego, August 26-27-28.

And if we haven't yet, we'll get to meet in person. HOW GREAT IS THAT?

xxx
c

Linky McLinkersons:

Photo credits:

(L-R) Ilise Benun, Bryn Mooth, and Peleg Top
© Dyana Valentine, via Flickr.

Referral Friday: ReBagz

reBagzPanda

Referral Friday is part of an ongoing series inspired by John Jantsch's Make-a-Referral Week. For more about that, and loads more referrals for everything from cobblers to coaches to gee-tar teachers, start here. Pass it on, baby!

Marty Stevens-Heebner doesn't just make great bags, she re-makes them.

Via her latest business venture, ReBagz, outrageously colored rice sacks and old juice boxes are transformed into stylish totes and buckets and messenger bags, all impeccably cut and stitched to showcase the graphic tigers and stallions and European conquerers to maximum awesomeness.

ReBagz is Marty's third (at least) business venture, after book author and jewelry designer, and a natural outgrowth of the way she's lived her life, which thus far has been one not only of curiosity (she's learned first-hand that penguins in their native habitat are quite stinky) and expansiveness (she did extensive human rights work in post-Zapatista, 1990s Mexico) but principles: ReBagz are made by women, under fair working conditions which are personally certified by Marty. Because she's like the Pollyanna of eco-commerce, I shit you not. And she somehow does it all without making you feel bad about what a lazy, first-world Cheeto-eater you are. And by "you", I mean "me".

Full disclosure: Marty gave me a bag, as a ridiculously generous gesture of thanks for some information I threw out about Twitter and marketing in a webinar I did a ways back. Also, she's a consulting client. (Yes, a client who gives me a thank-you gift. I think I brought my G.I. doc some almond-flour muffins once, and that was only because I wanted to woo him into signing on with the Specific Carbohydrate Diet.) Cranky-butt, Grinchy cynics might mutter (they're always muttering, the cynics) that this was a PR ploy on the part of Miss Heebner, who was gleefully rubbing her hands together at the thought of a whopping 1,500 more people hearing about her already popular bags. (America Herrara wore one on Ugly Betty, for crying out loud!)

Pfft, I say. You'd have to meet her, but trust me, it's not how the lady rolls. Marty is about peace and fairness and designing kickass handbags with lots and lots of pockets.

And pandas. Of course...

xxx
c

  • To buy awesome bags at the ReBagz site, click here.
  • To learn how to become your own lady ecopreneur, click here. (There's automatic video and the design ain't rockin' my world, either, but her info will most likely rock yours if you're the right person.)

Book review: Career Renegade

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Everyone's style of learning is different, but the people who seem to be able to teach me the stuff that not only compels, but sticks, are the ones who know their stuff, but embody it as well.

Jonathan Fields is one of those walk-the-talk people, and I think it's no small part of his crazy success both as a serial entrepreneur and a leader of other would-be (and in-transition) fellow travelers. Better still, he's got a great sense of style and a fine way with words, including being able to arrange them in ways that make me laugh: no mean feat when the subject is business (although ironically, all the more necessary, if you ask me).

His book, Career Renegade: How to Make a Great Living Doing What You Love, reads like his blog, tone-wise. It's full of great stories that illuminate his points, told in a no-nonsense, light-hearted way that makes the material go down easy. Chucking the paradigm can be scary stuff, but the way Fields positions it, it seems like the simplest, most logical thing in the world. And while he never sugar-coats it, by breaking the process down into logical, step-by-step possibilities and components, he does make it seem do-able. Which it is, by the way.

Fields draws on his own rich history, sharing the methods he used to segue out of corporate law and into, yes, really, life as a personal trainer, then yoga school owner, then writer/speaker/coach. The book is crazy-packed with resources, lists, links, and even business ideas, plus ways of coming up with more. It's not quite as expansive as another recent book in the category, Pamela Slim's Escape from Cubicle Nation, but it's an equally excellent resource as a hit-the-ground-running guide, and will be especially treasured by those who like their information lean, keen and utterly fat-free. (Kind of like Jonathan!) You can download the introduction to the book for free at his website, and sample his writing for yourself.

Full disclosure: I'm friendly with the author, having spent a passel of time with him at the last South by Southwest Interactive Conference in Austin. In fact, he kicked my winded, out-of-shape ass on a power walk back from a South Congress dinner to our downtown hotels. But the way I see it, it's just a way of confirming that not only is the voice you read in the book absolutely the guy you'd meet in person, but also that he knows his stuff inside and out. Because that was one long walk, brother, and no one could vamp on b.s. the entire way, especially with someone like me pummeling them with questions.

Finally, if you're not ready to jump yet, the book offers a wealth of information on technical stuff to set up pre-jump, like getting started with blogging, understanding social media from a marketing perspective and how to start developing content for potential revenue streams. Again, it's at the overview level, but it's a good, comprehensive overview, with plenty of resources should you want to explore anything else at a deeper level. I've been at this crazy game since 1992, and online since 2004, and I picked up several pieces of good advice worth the cost of the book. (Which, full disclosure, I actually paid for! And I'm cheap!)

xxx
c

Image by Wendy Piersall (@eMom) via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Ninja trick for dealing with jealousy

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I have friends who claim not to count envy among their personal challenges, and I have had them long enough to know that they're telling the truth. I still look at them a little bit like I imagine a psychopath must view normal people with their normal emotions: That's interesting, but I have no idea what you're talking about. (And, in the case of the psychopath, "Now I'm going to eat/murder/rob you.") But I'm coming along, really, I am!

One reason is that while I suspect that envy and jealousy have, at this point, been baked in as reactive modes, I've found what's become a sort of curious end-run around them.

Oh, good: that thing is done.

As in, thank GOD. Now I don't have to worry about painting that picture, composing that opera, writing that sentence, delivering that joke; someone has taken care of that for me. Now I am free to do whatever it is I need to do next, or one of these other eleventy-seven billion things on my to-do list. That other thing. Thank you, Person I Might Otherwise Have Felt Jealous Toward; thank you for that kindness.

A couple of things to note about this newish-to-me way of thinking:

First, it is collaborative. Historically, I've looked at the world as this gigantic blank space I'm supposed to paint all by myself, and at a Sistine Chapel ceiling-level, not a Navajo-white, rented-apartment-wall-level. Lately, I've been noticing how much easier and more fun it is when I share the work and the credit. Sure, my heart just seized up writing those last two words, but that's conditioning for you.

Second, it comes hard on the heels of my participation in two highly successful and significantly collaborative ventures: co-hosting the wonderful monthly Biznik meetups with the charming Heather Parlato and co-facilitating the amazing first PresentationCamp here in Los Angeles with the amazing Cliff Atkinson and the equally amazing Lisa Braithwaite. I threw myself into the former not knowing I needed help, but astounded by how much easier and more enjoyable everything was for everyone, myself included, when I was not running around like a chicken with my head cut off. And I signed on to the latter not knowing I'd get volunteered for my least-favorite thing, ASKING STRANGERS FOR MONEY ON THE TELEPHONE, then astounding myself by the reasonably capable job I managed to do. With help. Of course.

If you have no problems with envy or jealousy, good for you! And yes, I envy you for your lack of them! You're probably already so fluid and open, you've figured out five ways to apply the lessons I've learned in ways I have yet to dream of. (I know you'll share them, because that's how you roll.)

If you're like me, and have the occasional tussle with the green-eyed monster, give this "Oh, good; that's done!" thing a try. I'd be interested to hear if it works for anyone else...

xxx
c

Image by r'Eyes via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Referral Friday: Cuppa cuppa Barry's Tea

nicecuppa_malias

Referral Friday is part of an ongoing series inspired by John Jantsch's Make-a-Referral Week. For more about that, and loads more referrals for everything from cobblers to coaches to gee-tar teachers, start here. Pass it on, baby!

For the first two and a half years I was on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, I was very, very good. Which is to say, I was, in the parlance of Elaine Gottschall and hard-core SCD-ers, a fanatical adherent.

That meant many, many things were out, both in their whole form, rice, sugar, wheat (although who the hell wants to munch on wheat is beyond me), and, worse, as trace elements: the fillers, extenders, and sweeteners that make life both delicious and convenient, albeit frequently unhealthy.

Coffee was entirely out, as the only acceptable forms of it and its caffeinated cousin, tea, were "black" and "weak." I'm fine with the former but sweet mother of pearl, what is the point of weak coffee except as some kind of ingenious torture? No, I switched immediately to black tea with honey, and then spent the next two and a half years looking for the best-tasting variety of each.

Thanks to The BF and his own interesting travels, I discovered Barry's.

Deeply Irish, with some of the ugliest packaging this side of a tampon box, Barry's is everything a tea should be: robust, clean and emphatic, even at the low volumes an SCDer is forced to enjoy it at. At full strength, it would likely kick your sorry ass all the way to Killarney, even as it had you boo-hooing for more. Barry's is EFFIN' DELICIOUS, my friend, and highly addictive.

Yes, you will have your fancy types talking up PG Tips (or yer hoi polloi insisting that grocery store-available Twinings is so refined). Smile, and let them. Only turn on your bestest of friends to the Barry's, and they will speak your name with the hushed tones of wonder and adoration usually reserved for saints and Malcolm Gladwell, pre-Outliers. (Oh, like you didn't know he'd tipped.)

If you live in a big and bustling metropolis, I urge you to seek out your local purveyor of imported Irish (and sometimes English) goods. I buy mine from the lovely ladies at the Irish Import Shop here in Los Angeles, two boxes of Classic Blend at a time, since the hardnoses refuse to accept my Mastercard for purchases under $10, no matter how much business I bring their way.

You can also purchase from them online, which I highly recommend, as then their brick-and-mortar shop with its fresh, fresh bounty will stay in bidness. Or, if you have a thing for Amazon and skipping sales tax, well, at least you can buy your Barry's through this link and net me a few pennies into the bargain.

Cheers!

xxx
c

barrys

Image by malias via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Book review: Rightsizing Your Life

stonehouse_jsome1

Part of me living my life backwards has been about doing what Ciji Ware's excellent and comprehensive book, Rightsizing Your Life: Simplifying Your Surroundings While Keeping What Matters Most, discusses in detail: figuring out what works and why, and finding ways to let go of the rest.

It's the right prescriptive for People of a Certain Age (middle) who are headed into a new age (old), and that's who this book is written for. Aside from the general resistance to change, we are tremendously attached to our stuff here in the U.S., and by our personal mid-century marks, we tend to have accumulated quite a bit of it. As has been pointed out for eons, you can't take the stuff with you when you go; as people find when they're either forced by circumstances or drawn by new desires (fewer stairs, less dusting, more oceanfront), you can't fit it all into a beach condo, either. Plus, there's the dusting.

I love stuff as much as the next guy, but I've come to understand that, regardless of the cost of acquiring it, the price of having it is freedom. You don't really own your stuff, by definition, you can't. You're only renting. But your stuff can definitely own you, and does, when you silently agree to be the caretaker of stuff that no longer serves. (There's also the issue of acquiring stuff that never really served, or that served only to distract you from that big, empty hole inside you, but that's beyond the scope of this piece.)

The sweeping concept of this book is simple: as you move through the various stages of your life, stay awake to your needs and wants, and keep only what serves. If you can absorb the full meaning of that line and figure out the rest for yourself, godspeed. If not, Ware's book is filled with practical information about how to determine what's serving, as well as detailed information about the proper disposal of what's not. There are sections on editing down everything from wardrobe to cookware to photos, plus resources for help with physical removal of stuff. There are ways of doing it on the cheap or the medium or the high end. There are timelines and how-tos for people with the luxury of time, and those with change breathing down their necks. There's discussion on how to handle the move and, should you need to, handling another move. (Apparently, this happens more than you might think: sometimes life intervenes swiftly, and other times the downsizing bug really takes hold.)

Ware is a seasoned journalist, and it shows in the finished project. Rightsizing Your Life is a complete how-to manual, a great all-in-one reference guide, with the luxurious added bonus of being (hallelujah!) well written. It's a couple of years old, publishing date is 2007, but it's sadly timely, in light of the forced "rightsizing" a lot of people are finding themselves in with this difficult economy.

If you're facing a move and feeling overwhelm at the mere thought of it, or simply a logical Virgo type who likes the idea of a companionable checklist of sorts, this book is for you.

xxx
c

UPDATE: I should perhaps make it crystal clear that the primary audience for this book is the person or family of relative means, "rightsizing" to a simpler lifestyle that is still fueled by relative means. In other words, the American upper-middle class. If you're in doubt as to whether it's the right book for you, I'd encourage you to check out a copy from the library, browse it in the bookstore or just read the reviews on Amazon.com, which are pretty accurate.

Rightsizing Your Life: Simplifying Your Surroundings While Keeping What Matters Most, by Ciji Ware (Springboard, 2007)

Image by Jsome1 via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Referral Friday: BLANKSPACES

Coworking Los Angeles - Beverly Hills - West Hollywood

Referral Friday is part of an ongoing series inspired by John Jantsch's Make-a-Referral Week. For more about that, and loads more referrals for everything from cobblers to coaches to gee-tar teachers, start here. Pass it on, baby!

Let's get one thing clear right up front: I'm an introverted, Type-A, control-freak hermit who was never happier than when I got to kiss the office world goodbye.

But if I wasn't, I'd be at BLANKSPACES.

Frankly, I'm at this clean, modern, okay, sex-aaaay, co-working space quite a bit as it is, especially for a purported introvert. In addition to rent-by-day/week/month cubes, open-air "workbenches," and private, glass-walled conference rooms, BLANKSPACES has become the go-to spot for people hosting small-to-medium sized networking events. I've been to at least a dozen over the past six or eight months since I discovered the joint, and have enjoyed myself every time. BLANKSPACES-hosted events attract a lively mix of creative, enterprising freelance types, and the space itself is so beautiful and airy, even non-BLANKSPACE events have a gloss of magazine pictorial awesome.

Jerome Chang, the architect (literally! and a good one!) of BLANKSPACES, outlines his initial vision and intent for the space in an open letter to the community: to support the freelance community with the resources, both collaborative and physical, that inspire us to do our best work.

It's why we chose BLANKSPACES to host the first PresentationCamp LA. It's why I'll choose it when I start hosting one-on-one client sessions.

It's why I'm recommending it here...

xxx
c

BLANKSPACES
5405 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90036
(323) 330-9505

Rates, package information and free week trial here.
Cute ads that won't make you gack here.

Photo via BLANKSPACES.

Book review: Love, Loss and What I Wore

beckerman_darienLibrary

From cooking to painting, performing to parenting, the hardest thing to do is making it look easy, not sweaty.

Fred Astaire, easy; Gene Kelly, sweaty. Julia Child, easy; Martha Stewart, sweaty. (Which is weird, because the last thing Martha Stewart would want to be associated with is funk, while I doubt that it would have bothered Julia in the least.)

Memoir writing is particularly fraught: it's hard enough to tell any story simply and well, much less your own. What do you discard? What do you put front and center? How do you stay humble and true while being compelling?

The answer, I think, is mad craft in quiet, quiet service to great idea. Like a brilliant actor who disappears in the role to further the story or a team that wins with its defensive game, great writing is not about the showing its skill, but submerging it. Divas and sequins are fascinating in their way, but its the power to move you or the impeccable seams that hold up over time.

Love, Loss, and What I Wore, an illustrated memoir by Ilene Beckerman published way, way back in 1995, tells the story of a life through the clothes that were a part of it. Important clothes, like graduation outfits and wedding gowns, but also the random dresses, patterns, fabrics and colors lodged in a memory: of a beloved relative, a youthful friend, a time of life, a mindset, a generation. Clothes illustrate love and loss, class divisions and life stages. Two navy-blue dresses that take us from a tw0-parented girlhood to a life with custodial grandparents. Sophisticated evening gowns that don't quite bridge the divide so much as point to the differences between middle-class city girls and the privileged offspring of the (American, such as it is) gentry.

Most of all, it is delicious. A crazy word for a tiny book about an ordinary life told in storybook simplicity (with drawings!), but there it is. A delicious story you can lose yourself in, albeit for a very, very short period of time. It was suggested to me by a friend who perhaps knew better than I thought she did how I struggle with...everything. Well, maybe not everything, but I tend towards overthink and making things more complicated than perhaps they need to be. (I suspect Gretchen herself is a shining example of someone who makes it look easy, although, like most people who do, she'd likely shrug it off in that charming, self-deprecating way that all people who make it look easy do and turn the subject to something else.)

It is short enough to read cover to cover standing up in the store, and charming enough that you may want to take it home with you afterward.

Above all it is, as Gretchen suggested, a wildly inspiring example of telling a story in a unique fashion.

So to speak...

xxx
c

Image by Darien Library via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.