I wonder about the people
who used to bother me
when I was younger
and where they all went
since I got old.

The rotating hotties
in public displays of affection
who turned my stomach.

The cheaters at Monopoly
who roused my righteous indignation.

That solipsist who
took TWO parking spots
to protect his goddamn Porsche.

What happened to them, anyway,
those stupid, stupid girls
who set us back 50 years
as they prowled the mall on Saturday
in full drag makeup
dressed like Prostitute Barbie?
When were they replaced
by these sad young ladies
who try so hard it breaks my heart?

Where did they go,
the noxious sycophants
and outrageous blowhards
and double-dippers
and holy rollers?

Who sent all these enraging idjits packing
and let in all these glorious clowns?

I should write them a thank-you note
and I will
just as soon as I've finished
cursing out
this delusional wreck
of an unsolicited advice-giver
and this able-bodied old man
who is clearly only handicapped
by his sense of entitlement.

Just as soon
as I'm done...

xxx
c

Image by mtungate via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.