I hear
there is a magical place of ease
of grace
of flowingness
where one's mind is like water
one's desk is, like, clean
and shit gets done
by the bucketload
without the effort
ever feeling effortful.

I have bought
the occasional day pass
to this magical place
only to be called back
by sudden conflagration
or cold-sweat-panic
to the Land of the Exploding To-Do List

I love the idea
of me as Zen monk
as Mr. Miyagi
as Peaceful Warrior
but not enough
it seems
to do the heavy lifting
or the letting go
which is heavy lifting
of another color

So for now I will simply
observe myself
dealing with crowdedness
dabbling in roominess
and leave it at that
trusting that somewhere
between the waves
of crowdedness
and roominess
I will find my balance
or make my peace
with the lack of it

Which
I'm fairly certain
is just balance
of another color

Image by brtsergio via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.