I got an email from a friend
addressed to me,
"Colleen Waitwright."

Which is wrong,
Wainwrong,
which has been another of my many, many nicknames
along with
Wainer
and C-Dubs
and C-Monster
and one I hate
which I'm not going to tell you
right now

I stared at the typo in my name
and added another in my head:

Right.

Wait. Right.

Something I don't do
or haven't tried
except in fits and starts
and more of the former
than the latter

We all of us must needs wait
some for the change of an hour
some for the change of a circumstance
some for the end of a sentence

Harder than you think
when you're itching to say something
while someone else
is already doing so

The same morning
I got an email from another friend
about waiting

Until the time is right
Until the means meets up with desire
Until you have caught up with yourself

I am afraid
I will never catch up with myself

I am afraid
there's a party going on at all times
that I am missing
if I hold
if I nap
if I rest
if I wait

So I make myself go
when I might do better
to make myself wait

From now on
I will make myself wait
until the time is right

After all
my name,
the Wright part,
is about making things

Maker of Mills
Maker of Carts
Maker of Wagons

Or,
if you are my family,
Maker of Goyishe Surnames

I can make of myself
what I like
and I've come to a place
of liking waiting
and the idea of doing it right:
the right thing
in the right time

Like this:

I have waited
to the end of these words
to tell you
what I don't like being called

Which is "Coll."

Stop
and wait
before you use it.

xxx
c

Image by makelessnoise via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.