Like most human messes, the process of shifting from one thing to another is not linear.

Two steps forward, one step back. (Oh, wait, that's a line.)

I want my growth to happen faster than it does, no matter how fast it happens. I want it to happen in a forward-ly direction, and only in that direction. I do not mind treading while I don't mind treading, but when I'm ready to move, I'm ready, dammit.

If you are in the thick of it, change can be a big, sticky mess. Once you are outside of it, it may still be big, but it is also fascinating.

The older I get, the more I see the gods, you know, the Greek and Roman ones, as metaphor. They're the part of us that sits outside of us. The part that gets to judge and pose and roll their big, fancy eyes.

What they don't get is to play. Like we do. Like I do. Every day.

Today I got to play, and maybe didn't own the field the way I wanted to.

Tomorrow, I get to play again.

xxx c